After reading ACIM and ACOL for 4 years exactly to the month, I started to awaken to my inner voice (what I call spirit) to a degree that I hadn’t before. I heard spirit tell me to resign from my stable city job “sooner rather than later”. This was January, 2017.
Looking back on it now, I see that this was the beginning of my opening up & not only listening but following through and walking the walk. At the age of 55 1/2, I resigned from my 10 year police job and did what everyone would have said was the stupidest thing anyone could do…I quit my job with 10 days notice, no plan, no prepared resume, lost health insurance and I cashed out my retirement money, paid lots of hefty taxes and penalties. I did what everyone said you should never do. I followed my heart and started to confront my fears about…following my heart.
The money lasted for exactly 6 months. My partner was seriously sick (neuropathy and inoperable compression fractures in his spine), so I became a full time caregiver. At the end of the 6 months, I became a job coach for disabled adults at 1/2 the pay of my city job & no insurance. Lots of opportunities to practice love and learn to trust and let go of control and go where life was taking me. I stayed for exactly 1 year and followed my heart to leave this job in August of 2018.
This time, nothing was panning out. I was overqualified for some things and underqualified for other things (lack of tech knowledge). So I was unemployed without unemployment insurance for 3 months and for the first time in my life. Going on interviews was fun and adventurous. I definitely questioned my purpose. What was I doing here? Why was I still here? I awakened but so what?
My partner, Hank, was getting sicker and the doctors had thrown up their hands. He was in a wheelchair and on oxy. I expected him to die at any time. We had no help. It was just him and me.
I got a job as a Community Ambassador (liaison between downtown businesses and unhoused people living on the street in October, 2018. Brutal hours (5:00 am start time). Working outside, lots of walking and lots of fear confrontation about “others” (heroin addicts, needles, drug dealers, contagious diseases and dark alleys with unfriendly people)
Hank fell on my 2nd day of my new job and fractured his pelvis. He ended up in a nursing home for 3 weeks. So, when I wasn’t working, I bought things on Amazon to set up our apartment as a nursing home. When he came home, he returned to the best situation we could rig up…no family, just the 2 of us.
I worked at this job and was a caregiver for 3 months. I had tried to go back into teaching (I taught for 24 years) but I had been gone for 11 1/2 years and my credential had expired.
So, it’s very early 2019 and I’m getting beaten down and discouraged. The bills from a low insurance 2018 hospitalization for blood poisoning, underemployment and unemployment were mounting.
My questioning of spiritual principles continued throughout all of this, although I did practice being in a state of responsive prayer at all times, especially the scary ones and there were lots of those.
A SPED teacher had quit at a local elementary school and the school district had this out of control class. They hired me. I just had to pass some tests to get my clear credential, which I did later that year. Tough gig (emotionally disturbed children) but good income for the first time in 2 years.
Hank improved by the end of 2019. I continued to read spiritual books and try to put knowledge into action. I was feeling more comfortable with “them”. I received a message from spirit, asking me to channel a book. More brutal hours…2:00 am before work for 5-7 months starting on January 31st, 2020, on top of a brutal job. So, a couple of days before this was to start, I start to understand that there was a delay and the start date was being pushed back a week. They never tell me why. They just say, “trust”.
So, the book starts. I don’t know what it is going to be about or what the format would be. It was really quiet at 2:00 am, so this helped me to pay attention. The voice was quiet. If I didn’t understand something or I wasn’t sure if I got something right, I would ask, especially with the beginnings. Usually, I would ask “Is this in the same paragraph or is it a new one?” When the voice finished, he always said, “end stamp”.
February turns to March and the global pandemic hits. Everyone is being brought to their knees. Of course after what I had experienced the past 3 years, I was used to it! 🙂
So, the schedule changed. I wrote 2-3 chapters a day since I was home during the lock down. I was more trained & comfortable channeling and didn’t necessarily need complete silence anymore.
The book ended on April 11, 2020, unexpectedly at chapter 100. I was expecting much more. I had been assured that someone was waiting for this book and was even (unknowingly) expecting it. This is what led me to Mari, Glenn and finally to Christina.
Who wrote “A Journey Into the Unknown”? I heard the voice and wrote down what it told me. However, the voice is not “other than” me. We are one as are all potential readers with spirit, with the One Mind, the Christ Mind that we all share. I’ve been told that channeling is a creative act. Helen was experiencing oneness when she channeled but maybe she did not consciously know it yet?
Some of the things in the book were a surprise to me and were even shocking (the details about the afterlife). Some things will be familiar to people who live in big cities (nannys, people in cardboard boxes, newly married male couples). Some things were too “forward” for me because I’m a “monk”. It’s the voice of Jesus but for the first time, it’s OUR VOICE, it’s OUR EXPERIENCE. All mature souls will concur.
Saturday, May 8th, 2020